So I’m studying at the library for an exam and I get a text, “party?” I replied back and explained that I was in the library and there was no way I’d be done preparing anytime soon.
Then I get a, “fucking pussy.” I was offered to $5 to be the DD to pick up more alcohol. I rationalized that after a quick trip to the liquor store I could plant my ass back in the hard wooden chairs at the library and get back to grinding and being a poor college kid $5 was my next Subway footlong or fifth of horrible vodka.
I made the drive to the store and ended up also picking up a bottle for myself. My campus was pretty uptight about alcohol and to get the fifths back into the dorm we used this cool trick where you flip the fifth upside down in a belt loop behind your back. Made it passed the RA with the hidden booze and to the dorm party.
One shot turned into multiple rounds and my ass never made it back to the library. I woke up in a panic, huffed it to class, took that exam and didn’t realize until I made it back to the room that I had a dick sharpied on my cheek and a Hitler mustache drawn on. I damn near failed that exam but I passed the class and at the end of the day that’s what counts.