It’s not for my back

It’s not for my back

It’s been two weeks since I broke up with Jack. I mostly have gotten over the crying, sadness and general misery. Why do I even miss that guy? He cheated on me with that b*itch Jessica. And I don’t mean some secret fling somewhere, oh no! He was ‘entertaining’ her in OUR bed at home. The bed that I sleep in and… yea I need a new mattress. 

I ended up kicking him out of the house, good thing that it was in my name! He now lives on his friend’s couch… the loser. He never even tried to apologize, kept saying that I am unreasonable. Am I really the bad one here? No screw that guy! 

Sigh, that’s what I miss… the screwing. Jack was good at doing that at least, and doing it he did. Oh my gosh, if you know what I mean. In the last two weeks, that is the thing that I’ve missed most about Jack. 

Therefore, I bought a new Jack online today and opted for express delivery. This one is about just as big and loud as the old one hehe. But unlike the old one this one loves massaging me, and I don’t just mean my back. No, this Jack is for somewhere else. 

Now excuse me, while I go enjoy my new mattress.