Dating lessons 101

Dating lessons 101

Warning: If you are a queasy person, this is not the text for you.

Hi and welcome to the biggest disgrace of my entire life. Seriously, I think I’ve never felt the way I felt when this situation happened. And I hope I will never feel that way again. I wouldn’t wish for my worst enemy to feel that way. Maybe you can conclude what happened when you look at the title, but I will give you more, juicy details. If you are ready to hear those details. If you are eating something while reading this, please put that away. If you’re drinking some delicious drink, please stop drinking it. I’m telling you for your good.

Let’s go back a little. It all happened two years ago. I remember I was sick, but even then, I didn’t know what was happening to me. I’ve had a problem with my stomach. My mom made some pancakes, and I’ve eaten one and a half. Normally, I would eat at least four, but then I’ve stopped with the second one, I didn’t even eat it till the end, because they were too greasy for me. The moment I took the last bite was the moment I felt pain in the stomach and I got sick. I thought that I overeat but little did I know. I didn’t feel good, but I was convincing myself that I will be better soon, that there is nothing wrong with me, etc. I did all those things because later that day I had to go on the trip. When the time came to go to the station, I was feeling even worse, but I didn’t give up. How could I give up? That trip supposed to be the best trip ever- it included my crush. So, we went to the station, we’ve entered the bus. I’ve taken my seat, and, as we’ve made a deal, my crush took the seat next to me. Star of the romantic story? Well, maybe with the main character who hasn’t ruined her stomach! The ideal picture started to fade as my sickness started to grow. I tried to act like I am ok, I tried to look like a normal person, but I failed in that intention. The road was winding and with every curve, on the road, I was feeling worse and I suppose I looked the same. My crush noticed that I am not the same person who entered the bus. And that’s when he talked to me, concerned: “Are you ok?” But, he didn’t get the answer for me. Not because I was playing „hard to get“. No. It was because I’ve given him a scene to remember. Yes, you can all assume what happened. I threw up all over him, all over his seat and I even managed to mark with my vomit a girl in the seat next to us. The bus driver stopped as soon as he could, and my crush cleaned all the mess because I didn’t have the strength. Soon after that, I fell asleep, and I wake up when we got to our destination. I was planning a beauty sleep but got vomit-covered one. So people, think twice before you eat something. Long story short, day after that I was feeling way better. We went out for the sightseeing and when I least expected, he kissed me! He said that he loved me being so weak and he loved the fact he was my hero. So, if you want to seduce a boy or a girl, just apply this lesson and let them be the hero – only try not to throw up all over them!

Amy